i think i need a new one, or, none will be so much better.

im really dissapointed Dad, with you.

Trust me, im not a spoiled brat who mad at you just because i dont get what i want. i wont be so sad if i have to face the fact that i dont always get what i want. i've made a good deal with that.

The thing is just why you always talk behind me. I need you to walk in front of me. to be my guide when i do wrong, to be a warm shoulder when i sad. But who am i facing now? all i know is you're just a person who likes to scream when i fall, who said im so spoiled when i cry. You never try to talk with me in a good way. Dad, im not your little girl anymore. im 19 and im pretty sure im ready enough to have a good talk with you. as a woman with a man. as a daughter with her dad.

Lately, hmm, for have been years surely, i dont think you're on that figure Dad. I saw you no more than just a man who always dissapont me and mom. With all your lies. With all sucks things that u've done. but Dad, you never heard any complain from me, dont you?.

Gue gak suka sama bokap gue. i dont heart him anymore.
mungkin gue childish. mungkin gue jahat. mungkin gue tega. mungkin gue norak. tapi, mungkin juga, bokap gue yang bikin gue bisa punya pikiran kayak gini. A girl growth as what her parents taught. gak mungkin kan gue benci dia cuma karena iseng. hehehe

Huk, gue menulis disini bukan karena ingin membela diri, bukan 'bangga' atas kesalahan2 bokap gue, gue cuma butuh tempat untuk ngeluarin semua yang ada di otak gue, yang selalu bikin gue sedih. gak mungkin nulis di kertas, karena seperti kejadian yang kemarin2, kalo nulis di kertas, mau diumpetin dimana juga, ujung2nya kalo gue lagi kuliah/ga ada dirumah, dia pasti suka nge razia kamar gue, dan pasti ketauan. dan karena fakta yang berbicara kalo gue emang gak pandai untuk ngumpetin sesuatu. dan fakta kalo emang dirumah ini, gue ga punya privasi, but again, i've made a good deal with that, since this house is theirs. so, follow their rules is my command.